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Loc. Piazzano, 1
06069 Tuoro S. Trasimeno
Perugia, Italy

please no anthrax.

Today we escape.

today is the first day ever i could say: i'm glad i didn't shave this morning. it just wouldn't have been worth it.

welcome, one and all, to another edition of America's least favorite game show: things i've put in my mouth that were not meant to go in my mouth! today's addition to the list: a lighter. not a Zippo, which would've been more awesome, but just a normal crap lighter like you have three of in your couch cushions, whether you smoke or not.

Whistling: because saying the person's name is too damn hard.

and now for the actual informative part of the update:

hi everyone! i'm not dead! i'm in Cortona, in Italy. working in a garden/olive grove. it's very different from what i'm used to, it's some digging and carrying plants and trimming flowers and trees and pulling weeds and i sweat a lot. mostly because i sweat a lot, not because i'm doing sweat-making activities. but it's good so far. i've been here one week so far. according to the owners of the place, a couple named Reinhardt, i can pretty much stay as long as i like, as long as i'm contributing. so that's good. not sure how long i'll actually stay, though. at least a month, maybe. depends on how stir-crazy or homesick i get. but they'll definitely need the help in the next few weeks.

they've been feeding me three meals a day pretty regularly. sometimes i have to fend for myself for breakfast, tonight i'll have dinner alone, but they always warn me so i'm prepared. they gave me money and a ride to the store for food, so i've got a crap-ton of pasta and some fruit and meat and yeah. so i'm good for a while. they're vegetarians, so the only meat i eat is when i feed myself, but it hasn't been a problem yet. they give me too much food, it's insane. although, to be fair, i tend to eat the last bits of pretty much anything they offer, so perhaps i choose to eat too much. i'd be more worried about getting fat if i weren't sweating and working in the sun every day. maybe i'll get fat anyway, just for the heck of it.

Sunday i went to a town about 45 minutes from here, called Perugia. it's the capital of Umbria. i missed the Umbria Jazz festival, which i've been told is quite nice, but i did get to wander a bit the underground city. i had pizza and Italian coffee and bought an Italian-English dictionary and another guidebook to Italy. so i'm set on Italian reading for now. something i've been thinking about is buying a book in Italian that i've already read in English. like Dracula or a Palahniuk or something. but i'm not sure that'd be very helpful to me, so i may have to settle for See Spot Run. anyway. Perugia was nice, but mostly closed on Sundays, so i may try to go back another time and see more. and ride the Mini-Metro (it's adorable!).

here's how to make Italian coffee, near as i can tell. you need coffee grounds, boiling water, and a shot glass. one part coffee to two parts boiling water. fill the shot glass with the ingredients. add sugar and milk to taste. drink. it's... different from what i'm used to.

on either Monday or Tuesday i FINALLY met an Anti-American. worse, she was British, which means i understood everything she said. i'm kinda socially inept, so i didn't really notice the contempt dripping from her every syllable, but i've heard accounts of the meal from those who are more in tune with such things. and i know it's not just me she hated, because there was a couple from Connecticut at the meal too, and they got the same treatment. i really don't understand Nationalism like that, and i'd like to ask her about it, but i don't think she'd answer me, even if i could somehow convince her i wasn't trying to start a fight. oh well.

i flew from Prague to Vienna, Austria to Florence last Wednesday. stayed in Florence one night, then train to Camuchia-Cortona (they're both really small and close to each other, so they share the train station.) in the Prague airport, waiting for my flight, i decided to spend as much of the last of my Czech crowns as i could. it was just pocket change, so i walked into a coffee shop/snack bar/diner thing, like you would find in any airport, and i ordered an orange juice. i sit at one of the tables, take out my book and a packet of nuts i bought earlier. one minute after i finish the juice, the waitress/barista walks over to my table, sets down a bacon sandwich, takes my empty juice glass, and disappears. as soon as i realize what happened, i look around for someone to talk to ("um, i didn't order this") or even to thank. there's two other customers, but neither makes eye contact or gives any indication that they have a clue what's going on, and the barista is still missing. i wasn't even that hungry, but i ate it. i'm still trying to process how i felt about receiving the sandwich. it's a simple emotion, i think, but unfamiliar. anyway. i finished the sandwich, looked around again for someone to thank, and, finding no one, walked out. it was weird, but not in a bad way.

by the time i got to my hostel in Florence, it was 1a.m. got up the next morning, checked out, and sat around the train station for two hours until my train came. not a great story, i'll admit.

Tuesday night i went to Cortona with one of the other employees of the olive grove, a 25-year-old named Tommy. he's learning english and already pretty good at it, so we talk a lot. i'm not learning nearly enough Italian from him, i think. anyway. we met up with two of his friends and had some drinks together. so it was an American (me), an Italian, a Swiss girl, and a German. an odd mix, but it was okay. sometimes i worry that i'm forgetting how to talk to people. not that i forget words, but how to put them together in a meaningful and inoffensive, hopefully encouraging way. the night's conversations did nothing to assuage that irrational fear. but it was nice to get out a bit.

i have no TV, no computer in my "apartment" that i share with the family of another employee. husband, wife, daughter, then me. i have my own room, but everything else is shared. actually, i've been meaning to talk to Tommy about getting a TV so i can watch movies in Italian with English subtitles. i think that might help me learn. also i downloaded an app onto my phone. not so much with the talking to people yet, but it'll come.

actually, now that i mention it, i'm on a computer in the main house, just after lunch (which is an hour and a half long). i'm supposed to be making the printer work, but it's just not happening, it's ticking me off. perhaps i should finish this and get back to the printer or maybe the garden?

since i'll probably be here a while: if you want to send me something (e.g. money, books, food, money, tear-stained love letters, etc.), let me know and i'll see about getting an address to you, at which i can be reached. or if you'd like mail from me, that can be arranged too. just say the word.

alright, i think that's it. if you've made it this far into the post, i owe you a cookie. goodbye for now!

Lucille Has Messed Up My Mind

(and by "Lucille" i mean "Prague".)

apparently i haven't updated this once since i've been in Prague. sorry about that.

so, let's see... i stayed one night in a party hostel. crappy beds and loud kids and totally not my scene. and i mean really crappy bed. orphanage-style bed frames, and lawn-furniture pads instead of mattresses. bleh. the second hostel is much, much better. Chili Hostel, look it up.

the only bad thing i can say about this hostel is that breakfast isn't free, and there's no elevator. staying on the sixth floor isn't so easy with 30 lbs on your back when you arrive and leave the city. anyway.

i've seen castles and the Sedlec Ossuary and wandered the streets of Prague for days. I've spent a good deal of my nights with other hostelers, for maybe the first time since i started travelling i've felt like i made friends. which was very, very nice after a month of Single Serving Friends. anyway.

HelpX finally came through! i'm going back to Italy tomorrow! staying the night in Florence, then taking a train to Cortona where i'll apparently be picked up by the couple that runs the olive grove where i'll be working. not sure what the internet status is, or completely clear on the work or sleep situation, so it's one big adventure all around. don't even know how long i'll be there, or if i'll be paid anything at all besides food & shelter. adventure.

i had goulash the other night, and i've also tried Budvar. goulash is a traditional Czech meal, ridiculously filling and not too heavy on taste. it was good. Budvar is one of the first beers made in Czech, created in Czech, and either stolen or exported as Budweiser. but it tastes very different.

i've not been eating much breakfast, and pasta pretty consistently for dinner. tonight i have pasta with bolognese sauce, and an apple. delicious!

oh! they sell Communist Army & Navy belts at some souvenir shops here! i wants one! the Navy belt has a silver buckle with the Communist logo over an anchor, and a black belt. DO WANT! i'd buy one but it's about $40. so i'll google or ebay it and see what's what before i commit. (edit: just checked. yeah, it's on ebay for $30, free shipping. and it's totally awesome. BUY ME ONE!)

oh! on Sunday night i watched Straw Dogs at an expat coffeehouse. that was kinda odd. great great movie, but being in Prague, surrounded by Americans, most of whom live there, and none of them talked to me and i talked to none of them, i dunno. it was nice. i didn't even realize i missed the cinema experience. also i ate "Real American beef chili", and it was great.

one day i paid 500 Czech crowns for a Communism & Underground Bunker tour, along with four of my hostelmates. the Communism part was kind of boring and mostly not worth it, but the Underground Bunker was awesome! we were led all throughout one that is apparently rented out for parties and concerts and such, then we were each given a beer (which we quickly dubbed either Bunker Beer or Communist Unity Beer), and shown photos of Communist events in Prague. the rise, the fall, the death, everything. it was surprisingly somber. then party time again when we were allowed to try on authentic gas masks and communist army uniform jackets & hats. so i can now proudly say there is a photo in existence of me in a gas mask. i get to check (Czech?) that off my list. so it was good, generally.

almost forgot to talk about Kutna Hora and the Sedlec Ossuary. Kutna Hora is the town where the Ossuary is, FYI. very sleepy, friendly, rather nice town. if i come back to Czech Republic, i may stay in Kutna Hora just for the general feel of the place. so, Sedlec. sorry Alina, the skulls were all tagged like cows or expensive items at the store. so no skull for you. i was a little disappointed in the local gift shops, too. not nearly weird or morbid enough for the attraction they're leeching off of. anyway. back to Sedlec. you walk in, pay 50 crowns (about $2 at most), then go down the stairs. immediately at the bottom, on the right, is the name of the decorator, spelled out in bones. right in front of you is a chandelier made up of at least one of every single bone in the human body. in the four corners, fenced off, are free-standing pyramids of human bones. skulls and tibias and scapulas oh my. at the four corners around the chandelier are small towers with skulls and a few other bones tastefully arranged up them, until they culminate in a statue of a cherub. the statue is usually holding an actual human skull. to the left of the stairs is apparently some royal shield, formed out of bones. it's completely bizarre and more than a little morbid and i took plenty of pictures. no postcard this time, mom, don't worry. after the Ossuary i walked around Kutna Hora with a random Canadian i met walking there. it was a good day all around.

today so far: had breakfast and wandered the town with the French & German & Assyrian kids who were in my hostelroom last night. we napped in a park. it was much fun, but i don't have any proof that it happened. then i wandered to a mall, one of the first i've seen in all of Europe. that was okay, but definitely something i don't miss. i bought a flashlight to replace the one i lost, and another pair of sunglasses to replace my first replacement pair, which themselves got scratched up. good times. soon is dinner, then, i dunno. it's my last night in Prague, i wanna do something special. on the other hand, i've been staying up too late lately, and i'm a little under the weather. we'll see how i feel after eating, i guess. wish me luck!

man, Prague is stupid cheap. if you ever get the chance, you need to come here. so much history and culture, so little money. i think, of all the places i've seen thus far in my travels, Prague may be my favorite. well, factoring out the families i've stayed with and that. (sorry Mel & Nicola!)

so i guess that's it for this update. let me know if i missed anything, yeah? thanks for coming!

greetings, my furry little donkeys!

this kezboard is totallz messed up. the quick brown fox jumped over the layz dog. +ěščřžýáíé (that was the numbers row. man, foreign keyboards are WEIRD.)

so, hi. i´m in Prague!

last night: after i got my hostel and flight to Prague sorted, i booked a hostel for one night, my last night in Rome. i wish i´d known about this hostel earlier, because it was awesome. ran into some dudes who i first met in London, that was weird. my last night in Rome was spent properly: karaoke. the drunks thought i was awesome.

this morning was mostly just a morning. packed, got to the airport, was worried i´d miss my flight, bought a travel guide about the Czech Republic, may have fallen asleep on the plane, got a bit lost finding the hostel. by the way, two things: i´m getting kind of tired of staying in hostels on the edge of town. they´re shady, hard to find, and usually too warm.

second thing: i don´t understand why people feel the need to applaud when the plane lands. the pilot´s just doing his job. it´s not like he just saved your life or pulled off a wicked hard guitar solo. do you applaud when the bus driver stops at the bus stop? no. do you applaud when the chef doesn´t give you food poisoning? no. so why applaud the pilot? i don´t get it. moving on.

an Italian girl met a girl from Prague on the plane. they spoke english. it was weird.

oh, one quick thing: European women. everyone you´ve ever heard talk about them sazs that they´re more beautiful than American women, right? well i figured it out. they´re not reallz more beautiful, they´re less ugly. and there are more of the upper end than in America, and fewer of the lower end. to sum up: the uggos are less ugly and fewer than in America, the hotties are more plentiful but not more hot. okay, glad we got that straightened out.

i saw three women breastfeeding in public while i was in Rome. which is two more than i´d ever seen anywhere ever. ever.

today, after i checked into my hostel, i went out for a Czech meal. no mom, i´m not eating out every meal, i just figured it´d be nice to eat some local fare on my first night. anyway. i had a delicious pork steak with grean beans and onions, and i ate the garnish too. then i had head cheese with red onions. i´m not sure what head cheese is, but i don´t want to google it, in case it´s something bad.

tonight i drank a pint of the world´s first lager, in the city that created the world´s first lager. it´s okay to be jealous.

i have with me a general European phrasebook/dictionary. i noticed tonight that it´s missing what is, without a doubt, the single most important phrase one can ever learn in a foreign language: "how do you say ____?"

also, Rick Steves was right: don´t be afraid to make a fool of yourself. when the check came i pointed to my phrasebook, the phrase "the meal was delicious, thank you." the waiter said the phrase, then i had to point to "could you please speak more slowly?" he laughed, then repeated it until i was able to say it back to him. we had a moment. he appreciated that i wasn´t just wantonly butchering his language, and i learned a useful phrase. win-win!

there´s no smoking ban here. so the restaurant where i ate actually had a non-smoking area. i giggled when i realized. and eating in a smoking restaurant wasn´t nearly as bad as the anti-smoking propaganda and my memory makes it seem. just sayin.

there´s a "night clubs" about two blocks away from this hostel, called Sweet Paradise. no, i´m not sure what it really is, nor do i want to know. and yes, all the signs for it call it a "night clubs". what´s the Czech version of Engrish called?

right. that´s it. tomorrow i´m going to see the local castle, and try to apply for a Chinese visa. then Friday i´m going to the Sedlec Ossuary (google it.)

goodnight all!!

i am officially out of cotton swabs!

i bought a 30-pack of cotton swabs for my trip, and today i used the last one! i've been travelling for one month. *tiny happy dance*

still in Rome, this is supposed to be my last day. waiting to hear back from a lady with a job and place to stay somewhere in Italy. if i don't hear back soon i will either have to cut my losses or stay here another day. we'll see. i can get a plane to Prague for about €80 today. which is silly cheap. i'll give her a few more hours. i do need to buy more cotton swabs, after all. she has time.

saw the Vatican, Sistine Chapel and St. Peter's Basilica yesterday. i'm starting to think i don't react to stuff like most people do. it was impressive, yeah, but i wasn't blown away. got a few pictures of the Sistine Chapel, even though photos are strictly prohibited there. but that's not really enforced, so i guess it's cool. saw a lot of sculpture and paintings and surprisingly not a lot of depictions of Hell. anyway.

outside St. Peter's i ran into a girl who's staying at my hostel. we had some dinner together and walked back to the hostel. that was okay. then i played solitaire and ate a real dinner. tried to decipher a local newspaper using only a "European Phrase Book", but dang it's too hard. gave up, played more solitaire, read a bit, went to bed.

i've taken a lot of pictures so far, one of Jesus being really scared, and hopefully i'll be able to upload them somewhere soon.

i think that's all i did yesterday. have no real idea what i'll do today. i'm pretty much out of things i want to see here. well, there's always more to see, but i've hit the big ones. dunno.

right. here we go!

today was laundry day. i bought a pack of cards, some noodles and bolognese sauce. i intend to eat two of the three items. the end.

9 minute update, GO!

hi! i'm in Rome! i have yet to see the Pope, but i'm sure it's just a matter of time, right? he lives here, there've got to be some great Pope-spotting areas. anyway.

tomorrow i'm going to St. Peter's Basilica. should be good.

let's see... in Rome... what have i done... oh yeah!

i toured the Coliseum, the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill, an odd little crypt, and i ate dinner at Piazza Navona. oh! and today i went into the Pantheon. The Parthenon is in Athens.

my life isn't changed, as somebody *ahem* assured me it would be, simply by being in Rome. but i am rather tan and i've been told several times that i look like a native. in my dressing, as well as my skin-tone.

that reminds me! i ran into a newlywed couple while i was looking for the crypt, and the three of us spent the rest of the day together. we amused each other. at least, i assume so. they amused me and i'm pretty sure they amused themselves. anyway. that reminded me of a thought i've had several times throughout this trip: i think it might be more fun if i weren't alone. oh well.

um... so i'm not sure where i'm going next. i've put a few lines out on some websites, but if they don't bite it'll either be a RIDICULOUSLY CHEAP city such as Prague (i think i might go to Prague. i don't know if you figured that out by the several times i've mentioned it, but now you know) or back to the US. but i dunno. i kinda feel like my trip isn't done. i can't go back yet, there's more to come. or something. i dunno.

i started making a list last night of Things I Miss, and Things I Don't Miss. inspired by the snoring jerk in the room with me. not an interesting list, but it's mine.

right, i think that's, no wait! it's ten minutes! dang! bye!